As a retired US Marine of thirty years, I have seen a lot of conflicts both on the international and domestic levels and continue to observe different polarizing conflicts around me and on the news. Individuals and countries seem to argue about everything, seeing winning as the only acceptable outcome. However, I believe that people don't want conflict. The problem occurs when people fail to communicate, often caused by their own feelings and opinions. That’s why I’m pursuing a degree in Conflict Management and Resolution at the Kroc School of Peace Studies. I think if we listen to each other and see both sides of the story, we can come to compromises and hopefully everyone can live more harmoniously. I am not naive in believing that this is an easy task. However, if we want to make an impact, we have to start with ourselves first.
Reflecting on the inaugural Crossing the Divide trip, I find it difficult to choose which moments to highlight, not because there weren’t any impactful moments but because there were so many to choose from. I do, however, want to highlight my interactions with the people I met aboard the train because I forgot just how interesting it can be to communicate with new people in person. One of our objectives on the trip was to explore the many different opinions and communication styles that other travelers had throughout the entire trip. We expected to see some drastic differences.
To start with, the Amtrak dining car was a great place to meet new people. Most overnight travelers take their meals in this car where a porter seats you. This means that you may come with a group of friends but end up seated with three different travelers. I know that this might not sound appealing to everyone, but I found it quite entertaining. Usually, by the end of the meal, you have three new friends as well as some interesting stories. The Observation Car offers another great place to meet people because of the open seating. It's also a great place to take in the sights on your journey.
As I was relaxing in the observation car of the Amtrak train, recording some of my experiences in my journal, I noticed a weary traveler across from me. I said “Hi” and introduced myself, and she responded in kind. As I told her what our group was doing, she seemed to come alive as she sat up and leaned forward. This kind of reaction was not abnormal like I thought it would be; almost everyone I came into contact with seemed more than willing to talk. This nice lady shared that she was on her way from Arizona to Houston where she would meet with her daughter and granddaughter. She hadn’t seen them for over a year. The year had seemed like an eternity for her since she helped raise her granddaughter from birth and had only been away for this last year. As we conversed about life and many other things, she explained to me the art of making candles and scents. I took detailed notes on everything she taught me about making candles and scents in my journal and plan on making them myself one day. It is amazing what you can learn just by saying “Hi” to a person. To top it off, later on in the trip, this nice lady hunted me down and gave me a beautiful pendant that you could put any scent into. I didn’t want to accept such a generous gift from someone I just met, but she insisted that I give it to my daughter just like she planned to with another one she had. So after a little hesitation, I accepted.
Now I want to tell you about someone I now refer to as “The Boxer.” I noticed this rather large, muscular, and bald older man in a tank top who didn’t appear to be one of the friendliest people aboard the train. But I wanted to hear his story; I assumed it was a pretty interesting one. Later I saw him in the observation car watching a basketball playoff game on his phone, so I struck up a conversation with him about the game. I came to find out the man was from Boston and was heading back that way from Los Angeles. He had been trying to get more clientele for his boxing classes but unfortunately hadn’t had a great deal of luck. I also found out that he had sparred with Mike Tyson in the past, which I find pretty incredible. He offered me a drink, and I obliged while we talked about boxing and basketball. I enjoyed our conversation, and it goes to show people are more than they appear. I am not so sure, though, if I would have felt as comfortable approaching the man if I wasn’t a rather large man myself, and that would have been a lost opportunity. I think people evaluate why they shouldn’t communicate with someone new in their minds before making contact, and that’s too bad because we could be thinking about reasons to talk to each other instead. We could make many new friends while learning many new things and understanding how others form their opinions.
The Crossing the Divide experience has made me reassess the way I view and communicate with people. I am not saying that I will go out and talk to everyone, but I will look for reasons to talk to people when I have the time. I also will not shy away from talking to people who do not seem to be like me. You can learn so much more from people who are very different; you just have to be willing to listen. If everyone were to take this approach, I imagine we would naturally be more understanding of each other’s opinions. On a grander scale, if different groups, political parties, and countries started to communicate with each other in this way, we might just be able to come to more peaceful resolutions. Like I found out on the trip, it could just be as easy as saying “Hi” to someone new or starting some other form of casual conversation to make a positive impact. The more of these events that everyone has, the better we can understand each other. It starts with you and what you do on an individual level; you can’t expect politicians to bring everyone together with their words alone.
Riding the rails has changed how I think about train travel. I had originally thought it would be boring and uncomfortable, but at the end of my almost two-week-long trip, I found myself missing the time I had spent aboard and the people I met and experienced it with. I can’t wait to plan my next train trip. Hopefully, you too can experience train travel in the future and meet many interesting travelers, but don’t forget to say “Hi.”
